Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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