Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
