Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
