We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
our cab driver is having phone sex.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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