Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i permit you to call me
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
