I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
