Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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