I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
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