After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
