Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
