Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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