Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
