She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
