broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
