uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Too much gin, very little bucket
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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