I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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