not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
