I accidentally burped into my bong.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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