He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
