i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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