just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
