if you like me you must not know who I am
She's JV to your varsity
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
