I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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