drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
