birth control should be required to get into college
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Also, beer. Big fan.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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