I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize