Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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