You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
