Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
