his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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