Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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