hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I could make wine with my vomit
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
We have started to decorate penises.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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