she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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