Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
