why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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