why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
This baby is an asshole
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
