all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
