I can't breathe out the right side of my face
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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