smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She told me I should be a condom model.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
