i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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