Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Randomize
