she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
