hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
