I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize