woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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