ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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