Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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