I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
