iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
