I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize