guys are not supposed to queef...right?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
