I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize