i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
