Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
