is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Is Oprah even human
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
