id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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