First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
