My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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